I’d like to think of all my experiences in life as having a greater, truer meaning than just the most visible one at the time.
That no matter what crossroads I’m at, what roadblock I’ve hit or what door closes in my face, the real lesson is hidden somewhere in there and will eventually reveal itself in its own due time. Almost as if I am under the tutelage of my own invisible Mr. Myagi. (This waxing on and waxing off stuff is becoming monotonous………but soon I shall see why it is so important)
Knowing or at least having faith that every person, place or thing has its reason for being in your life is a very comforting feeling. Whether you can see the good in a breakup, the strength gained in a breakdown, or having the patience to wait for the rainbow after the storm can be the difference of giving up or keeping on.
So many of our life situations seem at the time to be something so significant that they are going to literally make or break us. One of my favorite sayings that I have heard over time is:
“Will this really matter 5 years from now?”
When you have the chance to look at things with this perspective it allots you the opportunity to go back in time (say 5 years…….or maybe more) and remember things that you thought were sure to be the demise of you. Things that you couldn’t see being able to pull through…….but you did! Ahhhhh, what an amazingly accomplished feeling that it is to be able to view in hindsight how your own blinders deceived you but your heart and mind pulled through that situation despite self doubt and you even learned a valuable life lesson as a bonus!
One of the major hiccups thus far in my life was my divorce. They say that divorce is one of the most painful and despairing occurrences in someone’s life. I would absolutely have to agree. Yet, somehow, through struggle, learned strength, self love and appreciation, time alone and failure not being presented as an option, I was able to pull out of the depths of my darkness and not only see the light at the end of the tunnel but be my own guiding light through that tunnel.
The toughest part about it was that I did it without the support of anyone. Most people have friends and family to coddle them, kidnap them and whisk them off to places of happiness to forget the pain when it’s at it’s worst, or just lay down next to them and cry. * This really wasn’t the case for me, and for that reason I believe I am a stronger individual because of it.
This application of changing your perspective and repeating that quote from above can help you in so many aspects of your life. You can even alter it a bit in order to suit your situation. Instead of say “Will this really matter 5 yrs from now?” you can say “How will this affect my life’s progress 5 yrs from now?” From drug/alcohol addictions, relationship choices, financial decisions, all the way down to how you raise your children. (To which is a point I think worthy of making note of.)
Teach your children this same quote. Teens especially make not so great decisions that they just can’t seem to grasp will eventually hurt them. If this tiny quote can run through their minds before they get into a car with a drunken friend, are tempted by the peer pressure of having sex or using drugs/alcohol, or even a simple decision as to who they choose as their friends, then it’s worth it’s weight in gold.
However, despite our best efforts to keep the negative at bay, we all experience things at certain times and have people meet up with us on our life path that can bring us great joy or great sorrow. It’s these situations that we must truly learn from, appreciate and use as our guide to continue on our road to progression; sculpting a new and improved you, filled with knowledge and experience (no matter how bleak that moment might seem)
Remember, every person and everything has its place in your life if it is there, be it short or long term. Welcome it’s lessons and never forget them because those annoying brush strokes up and down your teachers wooden fence might soon be the defensive blocking techniques that you need for a later life situation……metaphorically speaking of course.
*It is important for me to pay homage to an unassuming individual that proved herself to be a solid and faithful friend despite her busy and hectic schedule. To this day she continues to be one of the very few people in this world who continuously surprises me with her loyalty, love and commitment to our friendship. To her I am thankful and cannot express the gratitude in my heart for the few moments when I needed her and she stopped at nothing to be there. You know who you are.